Happy Mardi Gras from Boofus,
Queen of the Beads
Sometimes even though I can't see two of my girls here on earth I can still feel them near. Online these moments are sometimes known as "tinks". I've never been a huge fan of the term, but last night it was quite fitting. I posted a picture of Charlotte on Facebook and mentioned that this night marked the 3 year anniversary of the worst night of my life. And so last night I went to bed thinking of that night, of the terrible phone call that changed everything, of the bright lights and blood and puffing oscillator. And then, as I lay there in the dark with my phone on the window sill, suddenly the room lit up and there was a little musical chime. Turns out it was both my phone and the ipad lighting up to alert me of a new comment on Facebook, and a chime to accompany it. Every time I found myself falling deep into memories of that awful night, the room would light and the chime would interrupt my thoughts to remind me that someone was thinking of Charlotte and sending her and I thoughts through the dark night. And soon, instead of thinking of that one night of terror and grief filled moments I was thinking of other moments, moments when Charlotte was being Charlotte. Grinning in a pile of Mardi Gras beads, chewing her bottom lip and watching the world go by from her car seat, laughing as the school bus lifted her on board for another fun exhausting school day, yanking my earrings and giving me slobbery kisses, sticking her fingers up my nose, rolling on the floor from toy to toy, smiling ecstatically when we pulled the blankets around her at night, glaring sideways at her new baby sister and attempting to bite her head as we scrambled for the camera to catch this spontaneous sister "hug." And every time I heard the chime last night or this morning I would smile and think "Tink!"
Thank you for being there for us and remembering Charlotte, aka Chuck Money Millionaire. I feel Charlotte, Lily, and all of you near.