Tuesday, May 17, 2011
Zar and I spoke in our Stake Conference at church last Sunday. Our topic was "How our kindness to each other allows heaven's blessings to flow unrestrained" or similar. When a member of the Stake Presidency came over asking to speak with us, I was terrified they were calling Zar to some big-time calling, and that would be the end of my church going. Controlling my children in church has been a bit of a challenge. It's hard to accept that I'm the mom with the wild kids. I don't know if it's because my first child had a different set of behaviors and issues to handle, or if my kids are just especially nuts, or if I'm just too laid back for my own good when it comes to discipline. I kind of have this perspective like "Eh, dance in the aisle during the song. Whatevs. At least we are here." I look at these families with five kids who arrive on time and groomed and sit calmly for an hour, and I'm totally amazed. I observe and try their tactics--coloring books. Baggies of cheerios. Quiet books. A stern look. But I always have the wrong crayons, or Ella wants goldfish and not cheerios, and I've lost the favorite finger puppet in the quiet book, and the stern looks are just met with a giggle and Ella taking off down the hall and Ava crawling five pews back before I notice she's gone. I'm sure it's amusing for those around us. I'm going to just cling to that. We are so charming.
Anyways, when they didn't call Zar to be a Stake Big Shot, and only asked us to speak for 12 minutes, I was so relieved I didn't worry about it at all until a few days before the meeting. Talking about all the kindnesses done to us during our "difficult times" would be easy-peasy. Lots of dinners, letters, babysitting, random acts of kindness, etc etc etc to mention. My biggest worry was leaving someone out of my mentions. Well then over dinner with my family, it came to light that Zar understood the topic to be "OUR kindness to EACH OTHER" and not "The general populations kindness to one another." I made him call the Stake Pres for clarification. Turns out Zar was right. I lamented to my mom "But we aren't that kind to each other!" My mom suggested I go ahead and say that in my talk.
So after more discussion with my hubs, and others, turns out we are kind to each other, especially when things are very rough. Less so when things are hunky dory and I want some bulbs planted and he wants to watch something on the Food Network.
So we wrote our talk together, more or less, and we gave it together. Ah yes, we were also asked to speak TOGETHER which sounded super awkward to me, but then it was nice having Zar standing there and throwing in the scripture references and such that I hadn't focused on in my talk writing. Anyway, it went fine. Better than I expected it to, and it felt super good to sit down when it was done. Phew!
It has also made Zar and I be super nice to each other these past few days. Except when I was running late for work yesterday, couldn't find my keys and was stressed about my patient. I may have yelled at Zar a bit as if he had hidden my keys and told him he couldn't just have himself a good soak in the tub when the kids were awake and I needed to leave. And then stomped out.
So I texted him later to apologize, and to apologize for waking up screaming the night before when Ella fell out of bed, and for falling into a Benadryl coma at 8:30 the night before and not packing the diaper bag. And he said it was okay, and he had found my keys in the diaper bag I didn't pack, and Ella made a big boom when she fell out of bed and scared him too, and he understands it's stressful when you can't find your keys, and that he loves me.
I texted back "Oooh I can feel heaven's blessings flowing unrestrained."
And he wrote "You are a dork."