Friday, February 04, 2011

Lines from this poem have been running in my head the last two days:

God Speaks

Death is ugly?
Oh, my children,

If you knew
The beauty
That begins where
Your sight fails
You would run
Run, run
And leap
With open arms
Into eternity.

But sad
Is a harvest
of green wheat.

So you would
Cling to earth
And finish
Your mortal task
I merely gave
An ugly mask.

-Carol Lynn Pearson

We've bid goodbye to Lily, oh...maybe a dozen times over the past couple of days.
She has leaped to the seeming edge and then inched her way back more times than I care to remember.
I could be wrong--I was sure the end had arrived yesterday--but it can't go on like this for very long....
The important thing is we have been able to keep her comfortable with the help of hospice and for the most part it is calm and peaceful here. It feels right to have taken the mad dash to the ER and intubation option off the table. It feels good to be home.
Under these circumstances, death doesn't seem to wear such an ugly mask.


TMI Tara said...

What an insightful poem. My heart and thoughts and prayers are with Lily. Hoping your entire family feels peace and comfort during her transition from home to HOME.


Rubypat said...

I can understand where you are; our child was given weeks to live at age six months; she is now eight years old, and again and again she takes us to the brink of saying 'goodbye', only to come back - less able, more challenged, but fighting the inevitable. I have a picture of her, on which I printed the following saying: "Letting go is not giving up; some things are not meant to be." God bless.

Anonymous said...

My heart aches for you and your family as you live this. I do believe in eternity, but know that it hurts to say goodbye as we are human. Please know that prayers are said for you and yours to have strength and find peace. Lily is a beautiful soul who has touched so many lives and your sharing her journey is a gift you have given to many.


Anonymous said...

Oh, I wish I could make it better; fix it; anything to comfort you. Saying that God is watching and has a plan doesn't seem like enough. But I know He is close and I know you are loved. He has a plan.
We love you.

Sam and Lacey said...

I am so so sorry. I have been following your blog for a long time. I found it off the Angel mom blog. We have a lot in common. We have also adopted. I just want you to know that I have been praying for you sweet little family. I am so sorry you have to go through this. May peace be with you. Hang in there.

ANewKindOfPerfect said...

My prayers are with your family. I pray that you continue to feel peace, and that Lily remains comfortable and can feel the love you are all spreading on her.

Carleton & Robyn said...

I love you guys. My heart is sad with you right now. Thank you for your insights and thoughts on life after death.

Michelle said...

I love this poem and I love your faith. Erin, you and Zar are such wonderful examples of amazing human beings. Don't ever change!
Sending thoughts and prayers with you and your family.