Discoveries of Late:
1. Hospice is awesome. It's nothing to be afraid of. Today a volunteer brought over Lily's sodium and potassium so I didn't have to go out in the beautifully deceptive freezing sunny weather with a bunch of babies.
2. Jammie days also are nothing to be afraid of.
3. When people offer help, don't be embarrassed. Say thank you. People want to help.
4. Pandora. What? Where has this been all my life? Set up a "Killers" Station, a "Church" station, a "Beatles" station, and have done nothing but listen to my "High Sierra" station all...day...long for days...on...end--Dolly Parton, Emmy Lou Harris, Nanci Griffiths, country music of my late high school days, I'm in heaven.
5. Having flowers in the house just makes for happier days.
6. It's okay to eat real food. Sometimes when I'm trying to "eat well" that means I feel like I can't have lunch. So I eat small amounts of junk all day (and a spinach smoothie) and realize at the end of the day I have eaten no actual food. ('cept spinach.) The past few days I've been making myself a turkey and cheese and apple slices and stolen bacon from Zar's stash sandwich, and it's filling and delicious and then I don't eat as much junk. Weird.
7. I haven't figured out how to set up facebook on my new phone and it's made life somewhat better. Gave me time to discover Pandora.
8. Reading. This is thanks to my kindle. What did I do without it? Usually after the girls go to bed I go upstairs and read until I pass out and Zar watches TV until he does the same. Last night I made him come upstairs and I read aloud to him from the last book of "The Hunger Games" which I started reading to him on our trip to Vegas at the end of December. I only made it a partial chapter before I began to go (I fall asleep QUICK these days) so I dismissed him, but it was a sweet and tender 10 minutes. Zar is in love with Peeta.
9. I'm still addicted to and loving early morning Bikram yoga. Not every day, but a few times a week. For some reason it's much easier for me to get up at 5am to pump, get dressed and head off in the cold knowing I'm going to be doing hard yoga in a hot room for 90 minutes than it is for me to the do the same to head to a drafty gym and watch tv from a treadmill for 45 minutes. (or much less.) And I feel good. And in yoga you get to be barefoot.
10. Some days are going to be sweet and snuggly and I will listen to twangy music all day and hold my big two year old while she falls asleep for her nap, and bathe my little Lily in coconut oil and style her hair in a faux-hawk, and blow on Ava's tummy while she laughs like a loon until she cries. And the very next day I may bawl for hours because it's just so upsetting they weren't able to seat our whole family of 15 together at a restaurant on Saturday night, and oh yeah, my baby is on HOSPICE, right? But there are still flowers on the table. And turkey apple cheese bacon sandwiches. And faux hawks.