Well I read my 2010<-(this is a link) year in review this morning and was happy to see I accomplished (and then some) my goals for 2010.
Yes, I'm approximately the same weight. Yes, I got a kindle and therefore have read a lot more which I am loving. I am trying to keep my car clean, but now that I drive an awesome mom van there is a lot more room for mess, and therefore it may just appear cleaner. Ella is walking; that was a good one. And I accomplished my biggest goal, of having a new baby, expecting a baby, or adopting a baby. In fact I'm going to give myself an A+ on that one.
Year in Review--without looking back on blog posts, just what stands out in my mind.
January 2010--set goal to have a new baby by Jan 1, 2011. Asked Zar if we could adopt a baby from Haiti. He said no. Asked if, just IF, someone knocked on our door and offered us a baby, if we would take it. He said yes. A few days later that practically happened. We met Ava's first mom, loved her, committed to her and Ava, and began our very short adoption journey.
February--I'm sure it was quite cold and unpleasant. I do hate February. Luckily we had a few marvelous days in Disneyland, always a highlight of the year. Ella LOVED the characters, so many cute pictures. Oh, and I dragged Zar in to an ENT to have his tonsils looked at. He has always been a big, BIG snore-er and I had begun videotaping his apnea episodes at night to prove he was practically dying. In fact this may have happened in January, but the surgery--to take out his giant tonsils and open up his apparently at some point broken nose, was in February. He bravely succumbed.
March--On March 5th Zar called saying he was coughing up a little blood. That night it seemed to be not normal, so we called the on-call ENT and he met us at the hospital. By the time we got there Zar was coughing up A LOT of blood. He rushed him into surgery and I went and camped out in the waiting room, all by myself as it was late at night. And I ate. And ate. And ate. I was really, really taken with how much I was eating, and how it wasn't even making a dent in my hunger. And I can eat a lot under any circumstances, but this was extreme. Zar was released from the hospital at 2 am, I think, and after he was tucked in a drug induced sleep I took a pregnancy test I happened to have. And you know the result. So I stood in the bathroom and cried and shook, and knew, JUST KNEW, that this was another baby with trisomy. I lay in bed and pondered our adoption, and this new baby, and decided that I was NOT going to get to the end of the year and have ALMOST adopted a baby, and HAD a new baby which had passed away, and NOT have a new baby in arms. From then on there was no question on going through with the adoption. Two weeks later I told Zar I was pregnant. He got a big ole rash from the antibiotic they put him on after his surgery. He was not too happy I had put him through the whole ordeal, but goodness it was sure worth it. (for me.)
April--I took Ava's birth mom for her first appointment with my wonderful OB. A couple days later I went back for my first appointment. What a jolly laugh he had. I told Ava's birth mom I was pregnant, and she was nothing but excited, and I was relieved. I went to the neonatologist, had a first trimester screen done, which came back low risk for down syndrome, but high for trisomy 13 or 18. Which pretty much sealed the deal for me. However we went ahead and did a CVS which showed another girl, with the same diagnosis as Charlotte. Many tears all around. Oh well. Forge ahead.
May--On May 5th Ava was born via c-section. Oh she was tiny and sweet, at 5 lbs 14 oz. Oh she was a good girl right from the start, oh how dear, so dear. I spent a few days in the hospital hanging out with Ava and her birthmom, watching movies, had a bad encounter with a very poor creepy social worker, who was eventually fired for what happened. Heh heh. Took sweet Ava home, and found that the upside of actually giving birth is you are THAT MUCH more tired that you don't realize how exhausted you are from caring for a newborn.
June--I was pregnant, I had an infant, I had a 20 month old, I'm sure I pined for a nap. I cut my hair. My sister had her twin girls a few weeks early, but they did great, and suddenly my parents had FIVE granddaughters whereas just months before they had one living and one in heaven. Sheesh.
July--Ella was afraid of the fireworks at first, but warmed up slowly.
August--We went to Newport Beach where I had the awesome experience of sobbing at the waters edge with my giant belly, screaming toddler, and confused and frightened 3 month old. Lots of stares. Figured I would have to live and die in that spot as there was no way I could get back to the condo on my own and my family had changed their usual beach spot for the first time in like 20 years. Said some bad words. Was rescued by my parents after some frantic phone calls.
September--Was pregnant. Getting bigger by the second. At some point Zar got a new job at WGU which was such a giant thrill I can't even tell you. I got off the phone and yelled "HOT DOG!" and then had to watch a few hours of Mickey Mouse Clubhouse when Ella heard me.
October--oh I was SO uncomfortable. I had been getting a massage every other week which was all that kept me going. I highly recommend prenatal massage from someone who specializes in it. Ella turned 2 and I made a cake with Minnies. Then I scheduled and rescheduled my c-section. On October 17 Lily was born in the same room by the same doc as Charlotte, Ella and Ava. She was BIG, 7 lbs 13 oz and my uterus had nearly exploded due to fluid issues, and I was advised not to get preg ever again. (tiny smiley face). Lily spent 20 minutes with us and started grunting, and was whisked off to the NICU where she did pretty well for a few days, and then aspirated her milk and was whisked up to Primary Children's NICU where she spent the next month.
November--Lily got a g-tube and a nissen, went in and out of heart failure, was set up for heart surgery and then canceled, and eventually, finally, came home. A week later she had a couple blue spells and we went to the ER, but never really figured anything out.
December--Our adoption was FINALIZED!! We took Ava to the temple (post coming soon). Ella and Ava began playing together like sisters instead of just crawling on each other, laughing and clapping, so, so fun. Lily had more blue spells, had a normal EEG, and heart surgery may happen in February. She also got a terrible rash from the antibiotic she was put on to prevent UTIs. Rough month for Lily, let's hope 2011 treats her better! I went back to Bikram yoga after 2 years and am currently obsessed.
By January 1st 2012 I will:
Be approximately the same weight, but HEALTHY. Fit even.
I will have made many wonderful memories with my family. I will still be blogging. I will be a calm and peaceful mother. If Lily is still with us I will have done a good job on her daily physical therapy, and held her a lot. I will have devoted individual time to each of my girls, and my husband, and myself. I will have mastered Ava's hair care. I will have put Ella in a fun and safe preschool. I will stay positive. I will not FREAK OUT when the house is a mess and act like I'm going to end my life over it.
This was a wild, wild year. I am hoping for a more quiet one in 2011. 2010 gave me many, many gifts and now I just want to enjoy them and care for them and give them many snuggles.
Happy New Year.