We had a good night. Lily's oxygen need came down a little bit more to 21%. She didn't eat anything overnight due to a lot of secretions but her blood sugars were fine and she is chubby and pink. Last night when we informed our nurse that we would probably have a long night ahead of us in the NICU, she elected to remove my catheter and IV so I would be more free to move around. Then Lily stabilized and I got to sleep without my tubes.
This morning we visited Lily and held her and were generally more upbeat and happy than yesterday--even some baby talk and comments on her fat cheeks. The plan today was to work on feeding, continuing to come off oxygen, and getting rid of the IV fluids. However after our visit with her I lost it and had a good cry in my hospital room. Anyone who knows me and my crying knows I will now be red and puffy for about a week, so watch for that in upcoming pictures.
Zar went back down to visit Lily while I had my break down, and when he returned he reported that her oxygen need is now even lower, and she drank from a bottle. Which is amazing news. She had the little drainage tube down her throat removed as well. In about 30 minutes we are going down where we will attempt breast feeding and maybe try low flow oxygen via nasal cannula as well.
I feel better after my sleep and my sob. Zar and I had some time to just be together and talk and we are feeling better equipped to handle the next few days. Lily's life is still tenuous and we are still very afraid of the unknown, but it feels more like Lily will call the shots as they come and we will be supported through it. We have been blessed with wonderful friends and family and nurses who have said the right things at the right time and followed through on promptings to provide us with just what we needed over the last 24 hours, even if we didn't realize what we needed ourselves. My angels definitely came through overnight including a tender email I woke up at 5 am to read just when I was feeling very alone. And yes, Lily is looking stronger but even if she didn't, I feel like I am stronger today. More later after we attempt the big BF.