Poor Ella. She was pretty furious. Had to pull out the big guns to get her to forgive us both.
Even with blue sucker, she still had to remind me what a hideous mom I am.
36 some odd weeks.
I am hanging in there. I keep reminding myself that I could potentially call my doc and tell him I've changed my mind to the 17th, which means I only have 3 more weeks. I've gotten through the last two work days with flying colors which may or may not be related to Sonic's 44 oz diet coke with vanilla syrup and extra ice. Which Jaylene surprised me with yesterday morning after I praised it all day on Friday. I nearly wept with joy.
I'm getting excited to meet Lily. It's finally, finally getting close. I have her special outfit ready to go and special blankey. I washed my grubby ole pink robe. I have our photographer on notice and have set my last day of work as Friday the 15th. Then I will spend the next few days laying in front of "A Baby Story" and weeping, or at least that's what I did with Ella. Something tells me Ell and Ava won't allow it like Charlotte did.
I've been thinking about Charlotte constantly, for obvious reasons. I miss her hysterical laughing fits and how they made me tear up while I laughed with her. I miss her slobber kisses. I miss her smugness. And maybe I've been spending a lot of time with my daughter of Ethiopian heritage, but looking at old pictures...was Charlotte really THAT PALE? Shocking. She was truly my little Snow White.
I've been thinking of all those days and weeks and months wondering if I would have other kids, wondering if after Charlotte was gone we would be a family of two and a cat forever. Embrace it even, work a lot, travel a lot. Little did I know this is what God had in store:
Okay, God, it's all turned out better than I could ever have hoped so far. I trust You. I mean Thee. My life is brilliant, thanks to Thee. Send me another hard gift. I'm ready.