Sunday, December 27, 2009



Merry Christmas!
My Christmas miracle was Ella looking at books upside down next to the tree and knowing Charlotte is celebrating in Heaven.
The greatest gift of all is Christmas itself.

Wednesday, December 09, 2009


I have been busy and not in the mood to blog.
I remember a psych class in nursing school, talking about how the Holidays are especially difficult for those who are grieving. I actually remember thinking that I felt I would have an easier time during the Holidays, what with the focus on the Savior and Goodwill to all men, service and Joy to the World. So life decided to teach me a thing or two.
The Holidays are hard. They are wonderful. I love Christmas, and the last thing I would want would be for it to become a sad time. But Christmas definitely brings everything to the surface, the music, the the lights, everything seems to bring an achy, lonely feeling. Like something barely remembered but desperately longed for. I have to expect the first year to be the most difficult. I am still enjoying this time of year, and it's still zipping by too fast for me. Zar would have something different to say. But setting up the Christmas tree on a snowy day, I wish I had two little daughters here to stare at it wide eyed and fall asleep in the glow of it's light.

Thursday, December 03, 2009






Charlotte's First Festival Tree
"Fly Away Home"

Wednesday, December 02, 2009

I am so happy. Charlotte's butterfly tree we donated to the Festival of Trees raised $2300 for Primary Children's Medical Center at Opening Night last night! We don't know who bought it and aren't sure we will find out, but I am so grateful to them. It brought me so much joy to walk in last night and find out Charlotte's tree had sold and so many people commented on her beautiful picture. I left my camera in Zar's car so I will upload pictures of it tomorrow.
Thank you so much for everyone who helped decorate the tree, donated to the tree, helped with transport and reinforcing and especially to whoever bid on her tree! I could not have done it without you and what a great kick off to the Christmas season. I know Boof loved it.