We still don't have Internet at home so my blogging moments are few and far between.
We're letting things rest on the reproductive front for now. Technically we are "waiting" for some more test results but who knows when those will come in, (you would think I'd be more concerned about $2000 test results) and I'm pretty sure what those results will show. I'm hoping at that point we will be able to let go of IVF if that's what's right, and move forward towards adoption with excitement and certainty.
My sister is getting married in a few weeks and the festivities have already begun.
My brother gets home from Greece on the same day as my 10 year high school reunion so that's exciting as well. He'll meet his niece Ella for the first time. When he left 2 years ago we both knew that Charlotte wouldn't be here when he got back, but we didn't say it then. He held her a long time and cried and it was in both our minds. He's the one not holding an umbrella in the picture.
My car is making a funny noise.
Ella is good and scooting herself into corners or under tables and screaming for help. She is in the 7th percentile for weight these days at 15 lbs.
Last night I was starting out the window of the workshop at the monument shop at the thunderstorm and the rose bushes across State Street at the Zions Bank Building. The rain was coming down hard and you could smell the wet stone from piles and piles of granite out back. My brother in law Weston was working on Charlotte's headstone. It's going to be just how I pictured it and up in time for her 4th birthday. I thought how ten years ago I was graduating from high school assuming that by now I would be uber-successful and have a few kids to boot. And here I am after hours at Nu-Art Memorial surrounded by other people's headstones--a temple, a teddy bear, lots of forget-me-nots--and my daughter is having her stone carved. The back will be left blank, for my name, eventually. Life is so funny!
Charlotte's stone is light gray granite with a cherry blossom branch along the side. We got a card from Charlotte's cardiologist that said that Cherry blossoms stand for a short life, well lived. That's Charlotte for sure. Her butterfly is perched above her name which is on one line, Caslon font. The butterfly's wings are open, so you don't have to see it's little buggy legs.
I'll post pictures soon. I feel so much more calm having it so close to being done. Last night was one of those surreal evenings I will always remember, as I did one of the last things I can do for Charlotte. Or watched, at least.