Friday, May 29, 2009

I've been thinking I should post something substantial for my 100th post. Then we lost "our" Internet at home and I lost contact with my blog world. I am at my mom's on my sisters laptop where I can't access my deeper, cheesier blogging self, but I thought I should get it over with, steal a picture from Alex's blog from San Diego of Katie and I and do a quick update. I'm sure the whole Internet has been waiting for it, rapt.

Today we are going to LDS Family Adoption Orientation. I keep thinking it will get us excited for the adoption process, but then I thought that about the IVF orientation, and that was very, very discouraging. So we shall see.

We have also decided to go through with the second $2000 test, just to have all our cards on the table before committing to the yellow brick road. Have you ever watched The Wizard of Oz and noticed at the beginning the red and white roads that start out swirled together with the yellow brick road? I have always wondered where those went to. Guess we'll never know.

We got an email from our doc saying that at this point with our current testing done, our chances of getting a pregnancy out of IVF is higher than 40% but not as high as 50%. Quite a drop from his last prediction. However with how good I am at making eggs, becoming pregnant, and holding a pregnancy, even one with serious issues, then our chances could still likely be higher than that. We figure we will go through this test, any testing he wants to do on me, and see how we feel. My sister starts her IVF cycle in the next couple of weeks, so watching her experience could very well affect our decision. She may turn into a beast and have a poor outcome, and that would just destroy it, for me, anyway.

In other annoyances, I canceled my gym membership on Tuesday, because when I showed up they had a notice posted saying they were going to start charging $2 a visit for the kids club. I had already bought the premium membership for the included babysitting years ago, so it peeved me a bit, especially since I already was paying $42 a month, (A LOT) and don't use the pool, the hot tub, the sauna, the classes, or most of the equipment. So I asked how much it would be to add Zar to our account--$30 a month. Seems a little ridiculous when we could both join at Golds for $40 a month. I don't want to pay $72 a month for us plus at least $10 a month in Ella-sitting. So I canceled it, and they didn't fight me at all. I thought they'd offer me some sweet deal, but no. So long, 24 hour fitness. They were wonderful to Charlotte, and I always said I'd pay any price for a gym that would treat her well. I am grateful for that, for sure.

Then I came home and pulled out our fantastic Jeep Jogging Stroller to inspect it, thinking it would be my new mode of exercise. The tires need air, so I shoved off to the side of the garage, and ran over it the next morning.

I called a couple bike shops but no one seems too keen on fixing it--the frame seems a bit bent and I snapped a bar I have been calling "the rear axel" but Ramon at work seemed surprised it had an axel, so perhaps I am using the wrong term. Anyway, the thing is a goner. And it still looks so great, from a certain angle. ARG.

Anyway, so now I'm addicted to KSL classifieds. I found a likely looking jogger for $50 in park city, but the dude just called to say someone was coming over to look at it, and I was welcome to come fight for it. No thanks. I told him to call me if the guy turns it down, but it would have to be pretty crappy for the guy to pass up a nice jogger for $50.
I'm on an up slope on the grief rollercoaster. Charlotte has felt near and the memories have been sweet. Hopefully this is a long climb, and the hill on the other side won't be too steep. Like at Disneyland on Pirates of the Carribean, when you climb that last hill, thinking you are going to get sopping wet in a moment, but it just drops you gently back at the start. You forgot you fell DOWN at the beginning, and needed to go back up. Funny how so much of Disneyland is below ground. Disneyland is on my mind pretty much hourly.

Anyway....that's where I stand. Happy 100th post. Hope it was memorable.


Shannon said...

I am glad that the adoption orientation went well! And I am glad that you decided to go ahead with the last test- I just think it will be nice to have all the cards on the table so that when you make your decision you don't have all the "what if's" for the rest of forever. Your trip looks like it was SO much fun! I am so glad that you guys were able to get away and just enjoy the sunshine for a little while.

Anonymous said...

Lots of ups and downs, aren't there? Just like Disneyland. Hope all things move along progressively smoother until you are cuddling another darling baby, and that the grieving, which will also have its ups and downs, will at least do them smoothly, with you hardly noticing the downs, while they make the ups sweeter. Much love to you all.

Carolyn H.

Barrett said...

Happy 100th post! I like your comment on this post about the ride (of life) forgetting how much you went down at first and then after going up on the ride you totally expect to crash down. Hope you are doing well! April

{ Bethany } said...

I've been getting a ton of dental work done lately (somehow being in and out of the hospital with Gavin all last year made me not really care about taking care of my teeth 100%, go figure!) and while they were giving me the shots (ACK!)they told me to go to my "happy place"...I thought of Disneyland! :) It really is the happiest place on Earth!

I'm glad you're on an upswing. Hang in there.

Angel Gavin's mom

Adrienne said...

Erin I just LOVE you and wish I lived closer! If you still want a jogger, I've got an excellent single with 16" bike tires. The only drag is the foam on the handlebar is a little hammered but you are welcome to have it, we've got a double now and I never use the single. Let me know (ader.berry {at!} gmail) I'll bring it down to Camille's shower.