Tuesday, March 03, 2009
The last time I held Charlotte, I knew it was the last time, and in fact she had already gone. I held her against my chest with her head on my shoulder and I said "oh I will miss this delicious weight." And oh I do.
Ella is a different weight, less by half (half her weight at five months!) and full of crazy baby energy, like a coiled spring. I am so grateful for Ella and her happy blue eyed smiles and I know she has saved us from unthinkable loneliness.
If she wasn't here for me to hold, missing Charlotte's weight would be unbearable. Even though it feels different, Ella is more like Charlotte than anyone else on earth. They are cut from the same cloth and I'm happy Ella's blue eyes echo Charlotte's, and they have similar crazy hair, and they both like scratching the sheets as they fall asleep.
I'm also happy Ella is all sweetness and easy smiles and contrasts with Charlotte's smugness and knowing sly grins. Ella reminds me of Charlotte, but not so much that I can't enjoy Ella's goodness while remembering Charlotte's Grace.