Wednesday, February 18, 2009
Charlotte is wheezing a lot, clearly uncomfortable and drenched in sweat. It's hard work to struggle for every breath.
Happily she is more awake and playing with her butterfly balloon until she tires out, and talking to herself.
I miss Ella, who is with Aunt Stephanie today. Ella watched me leave this morning, looking sweet in almost too small pink pajamas. I am glad she is too young to cry when I leave. My heart broke anyway as I shut the door behind me.
Again, I do what I can for Charlotte. I change her diaper, brush her teeth and put chap stick on her pale dry lips. I hold her in my lap and thump on her back until she protests. I tie her butterfly balloon to her wrist so she won't lose it to the ceiling.
I settle in for another day.
Write to my boss, ask for Friday off.
Law and Order at 10.
Take a break to see Ella at 2.
Back to hospital til 10pm when Zar gets off school.
Drive home with my sleeping baby and try to sleep alone in my big bed.
Come back for another day.