Friday, December 19, 2008
Thinking about birthing lately, as everyone has been doing it.
Owen, Jack, Hayes, Ella, Megan, Ethan, Caroline and Paige, I welcome you all.
All came with fascinating birth stories, which I have always been interested in, so much that I had plans to become a midwife after high school. A semester in labor and delivery nursing changed that.
The ideal is beautiful, and I wanted it so, so much. With Charlotte the goal was for her to breath, just once, and her heart was not tolerating labor well, so a Cesarean section after 18 hours of induced labor was the right choice. But with Ella, I did not want another surgical birth.
I read the books, I got my docs support, I listened to Hypnobirthing on my Ipod. I meditated and prayed and rolled around on a giant ball. I pictured myself waking up in labor, staying at home as long as possible, snacking, resting, standing in the shower, breathing. I practiced breathing a lot. I bawled through multiple episodes of "A Baby Story."I drank raspberry leaf tea and took Evening Primrose Oil. I really tried to BELIEVE in my body.
If there is one thing I know, it's that nature sometimes needs help. Yeah, the body is designed to work perfectly, it is designed to use oxygen, to walk, to birth. But it doesn't always live up to that design. Some people, like Charlotte, use supplemental oxygen their entire lives just to survive. Some people, again, like Charlotte, will never walk. Some people, like me, need surgery to safely deliver a baby.
In the end I packed, I went to Olive Garden, I slept well all night, my husband drove me to the hospital at 6 am and I delivered Ella, 8 lbs, 4 oz, via c-section at 8 am.
Oh well. So I didn't get my glossy ideal birthing story. I did get a beautiful baby girl and a new neat and tidy scar.
I also got something very c-section moms ever get--pictures of the birth in all it's bloody, fascinating, surgical glory. I didn't know my dad was taking these pictures, but it's just one of the benefits of having an anesthesiologist father. I think the pictures are incredible, but I will spare you a description. I will say that I am happy to share these pictures with friends, and have done so with many of my girlfriends. Shockingly, not one husband, NOT EVEN MY OWN, have wanted to see them. It's all perfectly decent. It's just a hole in a tummy. I don't see what the issue is, and it's what I have instead of the wonderful water-breaking-at-Walmart story. Which goes to show you, in the end we all get something special to share, even if it isn't what we begged, prepared, and prayed for!